5th of August

Have you ever wanted something so bad it hurts?

I have.

There are certain things in this world that we just cannot have. It’s either because life thinks your hands are already full to carry another luggage or because you just didn’t fight enough for it to be yours. But the question is, how far will you go just for you to get it?

My mom once told me, “When life gets too boring, do something fun. And when life is having too much fun, allow yourself to get bored.” I don’t take it as to what it literally means. I try to understand it in its deepest meaning. And for me, that is trying to do something that life contradicts you to.

We all have our dreams, all have our individual goals and wants in life. But only 30% of those will be yours, the 70% left are actually your plans on how you get it. You always waste your time trying to think how to achieve something according to your plan. You always think about how things would go if you do this, if you do that. You always try to see if it’s for the best or not.

You always want to get something and instead of getting it right away, you doubt your own capability by having a lot of options in mind.

“If I do this, it might break me.”
“If I go there, it might put me in danger.”
“If I tell him this, I might get hurt.”

And it will always lead to, “I’d prefer doing this than the other. In that case, it’d only affect me less.”

I thought you wanted that?

I thought it is what will make you happy?

I thought it’s your dream?

I thought you badly want it?

Don’t cry over something you didn’t fight for. Never regret something you were too scared to take the risk for in the first place. Stop blaming your fears for always getting in the way.

You did that to yourself. You chose that. Face it.

I hope next time, instead of only having 30%, gain the 100% already. Yes, it is important to plan and it is better to keep yourself away from problems, but it is also nice to get to experience fighting for something while already having it at the same time.

If you badly want it, you also need to badly have it.

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